Testimony of Yushua Sameul Bilal
Bismillah Hir Rehman Ir RaheemStart In the Name Of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful
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My name was Joshua Samuel and now is Yushua Samwil Belal I amm 23 a fully white British born convert to the true religion of Jesus (peace upon him) that is Islam
When I was a young boy something happend at 9 years old which destroyed my childhood where someone took away my childhood ever since that point ...I carried knives never trusted anybody I was brought up alone by my mum she trained went to college on her own when bringing up me and my bro I am so proud of her my father was never there!!...when I turned 13 I started to rebel starting smoking and drinking and was bullying others at my school for as long as I can remember always getting into mischief and bother and fights even in primary school after the incident at 9 or 10. All the while the pain of abuse was going round in my head..I thought why me, why would god let this happen ..I lost any faith in a god at 11 years old at 13 I was drinking and smoking then I got introduced to cannabis this dominated my teenage years from 13 up until a year ago when I found Islam. Anyway when I was 14 I started taking meth amphetamine XTC poppers anything i could get my hands on sleeping with girls everything a kid shouldn’t do even tooting gas and sniffing petrol!
I remember plodding along with my drug lifestyle as a kid over and over..when I was 15 I started taking LSD and magic mushrooms and everyday smoking cannabis and drinking since I was 13 or 14 ..my life was going nowhere fast I carried on taking cocaine LSD booze amphetamine all the while smoking hash everyday and taking pills and speed ....as a young teen this really affected my brain. I remember not wanting to go outside and having delusions and paranoia, this along with me been part of a gang who to beat me up since 14 burnt me with cigs punched me everyday forced drugs and booze down me they said ‘’too make me tough’’ , and every day they said beat this person up and I did I became a monster and this is only when I was 15 worse is yet to come due to my problems and mental health at 16 my mum couldn’t live with me anymore I was stealing taking drugs smoking drugs openly in house I was the worst son and I don’t blame my mum for kicking me out...she never knew I was abused as a 10 year old once by a man and I was evil when I was 16 I simply didn’t care for anyone including myself..
Anyway I moved out and I was 16 living in a flat alone in roughest end of town I had to become tough very quick and without a job resorted to selling drugs stealing and later on I was involved in the worst thing robbing drug dealers via extortion inflicting so much pain and suffering on others when I look back I have been sick before thinking about the violence..anyway i had to move out of the area after an incident where my pal threw a brick at another gang 20 of them with bats and knives chased me down street I was working for a drug dealer selling drugs for him and had 200 pounds worth of speed and cannabis on me luckily I got away ...my friend got robbed had his collar bone and jaw broken and ribs cracked and his bike robbed I had to move get out area quick
I then jumped into a worse area the red light area in my town centre I lived above a heroin dealer who got stabbed in neck arm and chest underneath me in the same flat it was a house split into two flats the blood was everywhere when he got stabbed he barely survived the girl downstairs was also a prostitute so I got no rest or sleep they had people knocking on door wanting drugs & sex all night it was like hell it was horrific but the main catalyst to me moving was him getting stabbed I felt in grave danger and was miserable I moved round corner as I couldn’t afford to live anywhere better..the guy survived that attack and later died from overdose
Later I met a girl who was my friend and a lesbian in her late 30s I was 18-19 at time. Imade biggest mistake of my life with her i tried heroin and crack slowly this devil grew and grew inside I had a job at this point but was so close to loosing it my workmates loved me and I owe my boss so much they gave me a chance so I got worse and worse was spending all my money on heroin and again resorted to crime as well as working full time to pay for it. I woke up smoked heroin ...came home at dinner break from work and smoked heroin...then came home and smoked it ...these were the darkest days of my life... I weighed 8 or 9 stone I was ill everyday I never ate washed or cleaned up this was breaking my mum and granddads heart I wasn’t myself anymore I was monster. I would rob anyone I couldn’t trust anyone all the while carrying knives even sometimes an axe in a back pack I was walking with Shaytan everyday. In my life through drugs and shading dealings ...iv had my teeth knocked out and been sliced thru to bone on my fingers.
My fingers sliced when someone went to stab me in face and I grabbed knife this happened in a drug deal gone wrong my life got worse and worse
By the grace of god I moved home with my mum I praise Allah SAW this saved me ...but I was still using drugs cannabis drink etc. One day I remembered that someone I knew gave me a Qu’ran and I sat down I came to end of my tether all my life this abuse as a kid at 9 or 10 years old kept ringing over and over and over in my head I felt dirty and used and like I was nothing to anyone. I prayed and prayed for god to guide me and I remember feeling this feeling of .....its hard to describe its like coming home its like overwhelming joy like I knew who I was I felt like god finally cared about me and he wasn’t responsible for my bad life I WAS...this night I cried from this love from god for 2 hours. I was in my early 20’s I had to change I have seen friends die from drugs and people ruin everything even some people loose legs and continue to inject in the other I knew a mother and daughter using heroin together selling their bodies there was a baby in their house too which even then broke my heart...but anyway i felt like Allah cared I remember Jesus’s PBUH words ringing in my head what I read and I felt compelled to study Islam I truly think Allah guided me to this day I am humbled he chose me. I remember saying to god look I don’t know who you are or what you are please please guide me help me with such sincerity and hope. I had to change at that point I felt love and for first time I knew god cared and loved me. I read more and more about the Bible and Quran and I started to realise the truth and saw things in Quran about big bang water cycle so many miracles http://www.miraclesofthequran.com/index.php the more I learnt the more I developed I am now free of drug addiction mashAllah and & so happy I have a woman I wish to marry who is Muslim who inshAllah I will marry in 2 years and she is the perfect woman MashAllah I prayed and I got my future wife inshAllah
Nothing could of helped me before Islam counselling and methadone nothing worked I just went back to same behaviour till i found Islam the deen the lifestyle the prayer the power of allmightly Allah has cured me. I now have money and above all i have peace in my heart which is what i have wanted since i was 9 or 10 years old to feel peace Islam is peace by submission to god .....my message is it doesnt matter who you are what you have done Allah and Islam is for all and if you want help if your sincere pray and you will find this help inshAllah ......there is only one cure for illness of the heart and the soul...this is the one who created it. The love an acceptance i have found within Muslim community has over whelmed me i was given food money help support a new family of nearly 2 billion i feel part of something good. I really dont know what iv of done without Islam i was walking with shaytan before it was a matter of time before i died or went to jail I cry wheni think of what i was and Allah still accepted me so my message to Muslims is dont keep Islam in a box let the light shine from within and help others be a good example and know how lucky you are to have this religion...because even the coldest most vile heart can be turned around by Allah. I am testament to this there are many people who suffer in there hearts worse than me when all they need is Allah and the deen please help those people like i was helped inshAllah my dear brothers and sisters
Please if you need help or support contact me joshyeasy@hotmail.co.uk I am a real person and I am happy to do any talks or events in UK as long as I am given prior notice to book time of work and travel costs are met I have recently done a talk in Manchester at a school and will continue to share my message with the young people as they are the most important ...they are our future ...please feel free to get in touch even if you know someone who needs help and you want to ask a private question in confidence by Allah I will try to help inshAllah
May Allah guide us to the straight path and help all our Ummah suffering in the world. Ameen
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